As people grow older they start to think about the bigger picture like college, world hunger, and other controversial topics.  Growing up in East Salinas where everyone is scrutinized -especially girls- made me think about outdated gender roles. I’ve noticed my parents say sexist things like, “he’s a guy,” and “act like a girl,” frequently.

My parents believe that just because I’m a girl, I’m naive, weak, and vulnerable.  While men (in their opinion) are the exact opposite – strong, omniscient, and infallible.  For example, every time I go somewhere, my mom has my brother accompany me.  My brother was pushed towards sports while I was forced into ballet and Girl Scouts. They don’t let me use foul language, yet they let my brother swear.  

My entire life I’ve been “protected” by the males in my family.  Whenever I’m somewhere, I’m monitored. My curfew is 6 p.m., which is a ridiculously early curfew.  To make it worse, now that the days are shorter I need to be home before it gets dark outside.  My mom calls or texts me multiple times when I’m out because I’m a girl and therefore I can’t be trusted. She asks me where I am, when I’m coming home, and who I’m with- even though my answer is clearly not going to change from one minute to the next.  

One time I went to the library to do the finishing touches on a project, since it was due the next day and my house is always noisy.  I told my mom I’d be home by eight o’clock at the latest and I even sent her a picture of me in the library so she wouldn’t make assumptions about where I was.  However, that wasn’t enough to appease my mother and she sent my brother (the ever so trustworthy guy) to go spy on me.  But when he went to go check on me I had gone across the street to buy glue sticks, so he told my mom that I wasn’t there.  I ended up getting grounded because I hadn’t informed my mom that I had gone across the street (which isn’t even a minute walk) during the night (even though it was only five and sunny outside.)  She argued that, “As a girl you could’ve gotten kidnapped or even worse, raped and robbed because you can’t protect yourself.”

Now that I’m 16, I just want to get away from my parents’ sexist ideology.  I’m sick and tired of my mom telling me to clean my brother’s room. Her rationale being that I’m a girl and should be cleaning up after my brother (and every other male in my family.)  My mom believes that females are supposed to clean up after men because that’s how a “proper lady” should act.  What’s even more frustrating to me is that every time my dad eats he just leaves the plates in the sink, and every single time my mom washes them because that’s what she considers normal.  In her opinion, a woman should know how to clean and cook.  Women should do all the work at home and leave money earning to men, women should be seen and not heard, and most importantly- be a devout Catholic and raise children also devoted to the Catholic faith. If it was up to her, I would have no will of my own, cater to males’ every command, and maybe even become a nun.  

Unfortunately for them, I’m not their ideal perfect lady. I don’t wish to spend my life under lock and key. I want to get a job (which is also against being a lady) to get away from my parents, even if it is only for a couple hours a day.  I want to go to a college/university far, far away from home.  I speak out when I (and nobody else) deems it fit or whenever I don’t agree with other people’s opinions.  I dress how I want to regardless of what my mom thinks is “fit for a lady.”  I refuse to clean up after anyone but myself. Most importantly I refuse to cower and act meek in front of males.

My parents chose to sell me these ideas and they even encouraged these gender limitations.  However, I now refuse to abide by these gender molds.  I couldn’t care less about how they or society thinks a girl should act.  I shall start off with small things like refusing to clean up after my brother and telling him to clean his own mess.  I shall tell my mom, “He has hands and feet I’m pretty sure that picking up after himself won’t kill him.”  Then I’ll move on to getting a job and voicing my opinion about gender roles to my parents.  And finally, I’m going to tell my parents that I’m actually agnostic (a person who believes that the existence of God can’t be proven or disproven).  Although this will cause a lot of uproar in my family,  it will show them that I’m serious about separating myself from their so called ideals.  

Unfortunately for me, my parents won’t change with the times.  They believe that their “ideals” are carved in stone.  What’s most infuriating is that they want me to accept their twisted gender roles and act like everything’s just peachy.  I mean even neanderthals (yes, cavemen) had equal gender roles.  Both the men and women hunted, they created cave art, traveled, and cared for children.  If even the prehistoric neanderthals evolved, why can’t my parents?

And this isn’t just a problem for the Mexican community or for girls.  Just the other day I was at Macy’s and I saw a Caucasian family with their two year old.  The two year old boy sees this adorable pink furry jacket that had Olaf (the snowman from Frozen) on it and says, “Daddy I like this jacket.  Can I get it?”  The dad then says, “I’m not going to raise my son to be a sissy.”  Sadly, it’s not just the man’s fault that he thinks like this.  It’s not his fault that gender limitations are basically drilled into us at a young age.  However, it is his fault that he’s choosing to pass along those limitations due to ignorance.  Parents should know that it’s okay to separate yourself a little from your traditions or in this case gender roles that others have set for them.  Nowadays, kids grow up being taught how to act, dress, speak, and think.  They are told not to question adults because “they know what’s good for you.”  But, how can they know what’s good for you when they were raised to think that gender roles are defined.

Parents of any culture or belief should understand that their kids aren’t exact replicas of them.  Times are changing and with these new times people -especially the youth- are learning that everyone deserves to be free from the oppressive shackles of gender roles.  As human beings we have the right to create our own image as individuals and not be mindless robots controlled by gender inequity.