Never a break (or how it feels to be the Principal’s daughter)
People always ask, “What does it feel like to be the principal’s daughter?” It has it’s perks and drawbacks, but it’s always prominent in my life.
To start off, I wasn’t forced to come to Alisal; it was completely my choice. Based on where I live, I’m supposed to go to Alvarez, but who wants to go there? I belong at Alisal and this is where I want to be.
When I started high school, I was nervous about people finding out my dad was the principal and making assumptions about me. Before some teachers found out my dad was the principal, they seemed bothered to help me and treated me like everybody else, not that it’s bad. But after they found out my dad was the principal they suddenly became extremely flexible and helpful with me- especially when my dad was present. “If you need anything, tell your dad to text me” or “I know how hard it can be, having your dad as the principal. Don’t let it discourage you…,” or “don’t worry I won’t tell your dad.” From time to time, I get the awkward jokes from teachers kidding they need a raise and criticizing his new rules. “I know someone who can help me get a new computer. Hmmm who can that be?” or “Yeah, our principal made these new rules that are just ridiculous.” I have no problem with teachers or students stating their opinions about my dad, but at times it feels like they’re aiming their comments towards me and only saying it because I’m there. Some people feel the need to inform me when my dad does something or somebody mentions him. Other teachers treat me like anybody else, which I greatly appreciate.
I see my dad everyday, whether it’s at home or at school. Imagine this: your dad knows every teacher you have, is their boss, knows your schedule (because he chose it), can see your grades a click away, and has the ability to walk into your class at any given moment. In other words, my dad is the boss at school and at home, which is kind of annoying.
Another part of being the principal’s daughter that is annoying is when my dad and I are talking and he says, “So I heard you didn’t do your homework today” and “I heard you were in detention today”, using ‘I heard’ as if he thinks I don’t know somebody told him. Being the principal’s daughter, people have higher expectations in terms of behavior and academics.
For me and my dad, our two worlds collide at school and at home. We try not to talk about school stuff and home, but sometimes he gets a not-so-good report from a teacher and brings it up in front of my mom to expose me. A dress code enforcer and a teacher breathing down my neck at home and at school. He has eyes everywhere to report to him at any given moment.
My dad is hard on me as it is, so him being the principal doesn’t make much of a difference. Since middle school my dad has always been on me with my grades and not slacking off. I appreciate my dad supporting me in what I do, but I feel that others think he oversteps and involves himself because he’s the principal and he can.
Some might say he is overly involved when it comes to my participating in sports. He’s the loudest dad on the sideline and thinks he’s a coach at every sport. He would invite himself to team practices and yell more than the coaches. I felt that he was transferring his entitlement as a principal onto the court, although he was not a coach. During swimming season, my dad didn’t let me swim unless I had straight A’s. I would be allowed to swim as soon as I raised my math grade. By the time I had straights A’s, it was too late to join the swim team. I was angry and disappointed because I felt my dad was being an overbearing dad because he was the principal. My dad has always overstepped his boundaries, whether it’s coaching me or being my teacher, but he’s the principal now and he can’t be the overbearing dad at school as much.
Being the principal’s daughter, and my dad being the way he is, I feel like I can’t slip up, even though I do. I can’t escape being the principal’s daughter, so I take whatever perks it has to offer and deal with the insecurities that come with it.
I don’t think my dad and I have become distant or closer, but it has changed my perspective on how hard my dad works and what he does for me and my brothers. Having my dad as a principal isn’t a bad thing, but it’s definitely a challenge.
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fitzer • Nov 11, 2020 at 5:21 am
ME TOO! growing up my dad worked at my school, so if I did anything bad, he knew about it. it led me to not tell my parents about things, expecting them to learn it from some tattle-tale teacher. the most embarrassing thing was when I got back form the cabin camping trip when he told me that he knew that I had been singing in the shower and he even knew what I was singing. I wanted to disappear. when I got into middle school, there were larger problems to deal with in my grade, and he talked to my teachers about other things. but I used to hate it when he would say to me, “I talked to your teachers today” but I was pretty proud when teachers told me that my dad was doing a great job as the head of the lower school.
Kirralee • Dec 10, 2018 at 11:31 pm
My dad is the principal of my school AND my mum works as the main administrator. Every night after school (when school finishes at 3pm), I am always there until 4:30 as the bus doesn’t go near our town that we live in and my parents have to stay there until they have finished and they are my only ride home. Because our school only has 250 students I know every staff member and I am basically classified as a staff member before and after school. Quite often I just sit in the staff room and talk with the teachers. Even though I’m not a school captain of in the schools leadership group, all the teachers always ask me if they want something done for graduation night, or school disco, etc. instead of going to the leaders!!! All this might not sound bad, but it definitely comes with its down sides. All through junior primary, the girls bullied me, and so I was that girl that hung out with the boys. In year 6, I had done nothing wrong and my friends threw bark and sand at me every recess and lunch, and it was only later that I found out that the only reason why they did that was because I was the principals daughter. Also, if I get in trouble at school, I get told off from the teacher, I get told off from my dad at school, I get told off by my mum at school, then, at home, I get told off by my mum and dad, meaning that I get in double the trouble. This ,Ames it very hard to make friends and keep the, throughout your time at school. I have struggled all my life because of my parents being main staff members, but I wouldn’t change any of it even if I could because it has given me amazing relationships with teachers and adults and made me more mature. I am graduating from year 9 at the school my dad is principal at and because we are from country South Australia, I am boarding at a city school next year. It will be a big change and I wish that I could stay where I am now. I think that all of the teachers will miss me and my flexibility to help the,che ever they need as there isn’t any more staff kids that are older that can help.
I also hate when people reference a bragging sort of girl to being like a principals daughter because not everyone is like that, and it always gets on my nerve!!!
I hope some people can relate to this,
Kirralee.
Puspa • Feb 2, 2018 at 4:19 am
I completely relate with you. But i am from india. When I was reading this I was thinking like this is written about me.
I have never read any such confession earlier. I felt much better after reading this, as I realised I am not alone there are many people who feel like me.
It was my decision to take admission in my father’s college so I can’t blame him for anything.
I was so nervous in starting days of my college , I didn’t told anybody that my father is a principal.
Even when teacher found out about me they start being more attentive towards me. Which I don’t like.
It’s not easy to being a principal’s daughter. I was not that close to my father when I was not studying in his college. But after taking admission in the college, i have to discuss about my studies and other things to him. I met him at college then at home. My father don’t even need to enter in my class to know if I am studying or not. He got cameras in every class and every corner of the college. In just a one click he can see me. And due to which I can’t even talk and behave freely in the class. I can’t talk to boys. Making boy friend is far away. I can’t even make a good friend. As making friends means sharing everything about me, but as they get to know about me they try to tell others about the daughter of principal. And I don’t like that.
Due to which I didn’t even told any student my mobile number. I am not on any social networking site. Because once I made an account on fb and I got love messages from someone I know in my relatives. And I didn’t knew how to react to them so I deleted my fb account . After that I didn’t dare to make any account again. After taking admission in my Father’s college, my classmates friends asked me to make an watsapp account so that they get to know about any news about college or other things.
I made an account as they told me and I started sharing about my activities. But what they do is they like to gossip and I don’t like being a part of any gossip. I don’t want to raise any topic or make any such kind of situation due to which my father have to listen from others. So I have to be extra careful for doing everything and taking every step.
I then deleted my watsapp account also.
I am an introvert , trying to open up with others. But i don’t like to be a centre of attention.
And being in my father’s college makes me more introvert. But it is not that bad , neither it easy.
Pratishtha • Dec 19, 2016 at 11:42 am
Hey I completely understand what you’re trying to say cause even my mum is a principal (and a stern one too).
Lemme start by saying I live in India and here, we don’t have the concept of different schools for different classes. That means the entire no. of students ranging from kindergartners to seniors to see my faults. And YES they do expect u to be perfect. But the truth is that I am not. I am extremely fat and I am not athletic at all. The only claim I have is the best literary skills in my school. Whereas they expect u to be good in academics, be polite , be athletic, be sexy and have the ability to handlrle their comment. I mean can u believe it, the call me bulldozer. It was my decision to come to mums school so I guess I have to suck it up! But still u do expect people to b more understanding when u are nicer to them even more than ur parent and especially , with someone as short tempered as me. They keep finding faults in the school in front of me. It breaks my heart because my mom has given 30 years of life to this school, sometimes even prioritizing the school before her very on kids.
I love this school, so it hurts even more.
Am finally glad someone is in the sama boat as mine