Noemi Vega Gutierrez

In this picture, I am blending out my blush in an upward direction. When I wear certain hairstyles, I like to apply makeup at an upwards angle to sculpt my face.

During quarantine, we were all locked up and bored, I’m sure it’s something that everyone can relate to. Personally, I was reading a lot of manga and watching anime and that really inspired me to experiment with my looks. I also ended up on the E-girl side of TikTok which, as some of you might know, included a very specific community. I’m talking like the “weird” girls who watched way too much anime, and played too many video games and so on. 

I was in eighth grade when I started trying out makeup. I remember going online to Amazon and buying a bunch of different products like foundation, that was definitely too dark for me, blush, EYELINER, and lip products. As soon as my package arrived I locked myself in the bathroom and started or attempted to do a full face for the first time. 

It’s such a memorable experience for me because I vividly remember doing my eyeliner and feeling like I was one of those emo kids that my mom always associated with the devil. This was probably due to the fact that my eyeliner was more dramatic, it literally covered my whole eyelid and almost touched my side hairline because of how long it was. 

To make matters worse, I packed on black eyeshadow. It did look a bit crazy, I will admit. So I obviously didn’t go outside with that makeup on (at first) and instead started taking it off when I heard my mom coming. My parents are Hispanic and a tad bit religious, so at first I was scared to fully express myself because I didn’t want to be treated differently especially since my “true” look involved a lot of dark and heavy makeup.  

When I look back at old pictures of me with experimental makeup, it’s a bit of a jump scare and a part of me is relieved it was when nobody could see me because I looked like a mess. However, I also think that it’s one of the main reasons why I can do my makeup very well now, because I already went through trials and errors when I was younger. I did watch a few makeup videos on TikTok. Specifically those E-girl makeup tutorials because that look was the rave back in quarantine and it also appealed to me.

But for the most part, I was taking most of my inspiration from the makeup I saw on anime characters such as Yumeko from Kakeguri, Misa from Death Note and Nana from Nana. What really stood out to me about these characters is how they looked very mysterious and their makeup was more bold, dark, and out there. 

A lot of the people I know only just started experimenting with makeup and different looks, so being a young girl who was doing very dramatic things, it was a bit isolating at first. One of the reasons why I first started experimenting with changing my looks was because I was a bit insecure about my appearance. 

Being in middle school, you see a lot of different types of people, but for some reason my insecurities stemmed from my skin color and ethnic features. I was darker than a lot of girls around me and my features stood out more. 

I don’t want to feed into the stereotype that people who wear makeup wear it because they need to because I really didn’t need it. I have decent facial features and even without makeup I’d say I have a unique and distinct face. I was relatively young too so there was nothing about my appearance that I needed to change. Looking back, I even had clear skin so I didn’t need foundation or concealer. Mostly my usage of makeup came down to how I wanted to present myself. 

I just felt like it would make me feel better about myself and I found that it really did help my self-esteem. In my opinion, wearing makeup is so overly hated, especially on young girls. It’s true that when I look back I think to myself, “Wow I really didn’t need all that,” but I know that it meant a lot to younger me to have the ability to express myself, so I don’t regret it and I will not judge myself as much as I want to. 

As far as my “look” goes, I’m a bit alternative. Not in an emo grungy way, more so in a way that I’m a bit different from the mainstream styles. I wouldn’t straight up call myself emo, punk, or gothic, even if I do listen to some of the music, but I would say that I am influenced by that sort of fashion and look, in particular dark colors and bold makeup. I also think that heavy makeup compliments me because I have pretty sharp features and it makes me look more fierce. 

My makeup now consists of doing cat eye winged eyeliner and the reason for this is because I have a mix of almond eyes and round eyes, but I prefer to bring out the almond part of my eyes so I do this by applying thick upwards angled eyeliner. I also put on a LOT of blush because I think it draws attention to the center of my face and that’s what I want. Now usually I do contour my nose and I’d say it really does intrigue people. I used to contour my nose in a way that made it look “skinnier” and I tried to kind of hide the shape of my nose. However, now I just contour the tip of my nose and apply highlighter which brings a lot of attention to the part of my nose I didn’t like, so I’d like to say I have definitely grown to embrace it a lot more.

The overall routine includes primer, concealer, powder, blush, contour, eyeliner, lashes, highlighter, and finally, lips in this exact order and it only truly takes about 10 minutes. It’s actually not as difficult as it might seem to other people, I think it’s more the skill and techniques that really make the difference. 

The part of my routine and face that people usually highlight, is my nose contour and eyeliner + big eyelash combination. I honestly only started wearing eyeliner because my eyes were uneven and I didn’t like how they looked, and now it’s a staple in my routine, and the most distinct thing about my whole appearance. 

I always get compliments on my makeup and even though it’s a normal part of my routine now, and something that I see as basic, to other people my makeup is a bit of a statement.

I have been told before that I look unapproachable and mean, but I am the complete opposite of that! I think that my bold makeup actually facilitates some conversations with other people, because I like to ramble about what type of products and techniques I use on my makeup with people who compliment me. Not only does my appearance speak to the type of things I like, it has also opened opportunities for me to talk with others and be myself. 

I encourage others who are scared to express themselves because of fear of what others might think, to just do it. You only live once, and it’s better to do something scary instead of living with regret for the rest of your life. Just because you may look different from everybody else doesn’t make you a freak and being different it’s a bad thing. So do that extra step with your makeup and take it to the next level, because chances are a lot of people will get inspired instead of judging you. Throughout trying out different styles, some more out of my comfort zone than others, I learned that at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is your own.