We all do it. We procrastinate and leave all the important things we have to do right before bed and stay up all night. So as to compensate for the missing hours of sleep we pretend to hibernate and oversleep. Now, which of the two is worse?

Well, it depends on whether or not you value your life. If you DO value your life, well then sleep deprivation is for you! Apparently, oversleeping is linked to early death, so be careful next collaboration Wednesday, that extra hour of sleep may result in your ultimate demise.

It won’t stop at death either; you will also be punished with sleepiness and worse… headaches! Okay, well maybe that wasn’t worse, but you must admit getting headaches is way more annoying than dying. It’s not like I’ve experienced death though… (Dramatic pause) or have I? Moving on! But you know, sleeping late isn’t all frolicking through the flowers. No, no, no. Do you want a heart attack? Heart attacks are bad. And bad things are bad. So stay away from bad things. And stay away from strangers.

Speaking of bad things, it’s bad to procrastinate! If you didn’t procrastinate you wouldn’t be in this mess. So there you have it folks. The moral of the story is: don’t believe in free candy… unless it’s Halloween, which coincidentally, is coming up soon.  Did I mention that lack of sleep makes it hard to focus, SQUIRREL!

As you can see, the constant distractions make it difficult to concentrate on one single subject. Let’s just try and get our sleep from now on okay? Because bad sleeping habits can affect your overall mood and eventually it can become serious. These poor sleeping habits can both cause and worsen depression.

It’s some serious stuff and you should make sure you stay away from it. We here at Alisal want our students to enjoy their movie, so don’t be the person we ask to leave the movie theater, because we will. No talking or texting on your cell phones during the movie please.  And don’t cry about it because that’s depressing too!

Sorry, just kidding. That was in my head along with other pointless knowledge that has nothing to do with sleep deprivation or oversleeping.

I, for one, rarely get my recommended eight to nine hours of sleep, and as you can see my attention span has digressed. This is because sleep deprivation causes decreased alertness. It is in your best interest that you stay away from such bad habits.

I apologize to those of you who expected a highly sophisticated, formal, and quite informative article and instead received, well, this.

So let’s summarize what we’ve learned today…

Umm…

…

Inner personality 1: Have you forgotten already?

Me: I just sort of lost my train of thought.

Inner personality 1: Lost? How so?

Me:  No. I didn’t lose the train. (Evil smirk) No…  I burned that train down… with combustible lemons!

Inner personality 1: …

Well now that the inner me is gone­ – no I didn’t hurt her – we can summarize today’s lesson. So we know that sleeping too much and sleeping too little is bad. (Need I remind you that bad things are bad?) We also learned that taking candy from strangers isn’t always the best way to acquire candy (unless it’s Halloween). Movie theaters are not the right place to use phones. And most important, don’t lose your trains, show them no mercy.  Oh, and get more sleep than you’re getting (did I cover that already?) or you might just . . .zzzzzzzzz.