As an athlete, there’s nothing better than becoming a starter and nothing worse than not playing due to an injury. I experienced both of these this football season.

It was my first time starting at the varsity level as a junior. I was the starting defensive end and tight end against Palma in week 3. I was excited, but also very nervous. 

It was in the first quarter and it was a 2nd and 8th situation. It was a run play. My teammate got the tackle, but tripped me in the process and I landed wrong on my knee. 

I thought it was nothing at first. I got up, but I just collapsed right then and there. It was a sharp pain and it was constant. The pain was so grueling I had to go to the hospital.

I thought it was nothing serious, maybe out for a couple weeks at most, but it turned out I got a grade 2 MCL tear, which takes 6-8 weeks to recover. 

It was an 80% tear and I almost needed surgery. While that was the “good” news, my junior season was done. 

I felt devastated. I tried my best to not complain. I tried my best to be there with my team and support them in every way I could. Every game I would be there supporting.

There are many things that come with injury besides dealing with the pain, there is also the mental health aspect. 

The first week was honestly hell. Just waking up in the morning felt challenging, essentially that first step out of bed I was in pain. Especially putting on my jeans and socks was a mission. 

I was on crutches and possibly on the hottest week of the year. I would sweat horribly just going to my classes. I never realized how hard it was to be on crutches now I see the world differently and help people who are on crutches because I know how hard it can be. 

I would leave class 5 minutes early and I would still be late to my next class. I was focused on trying not to fall because I had a couple people almost knock me over. People also weren’t really aware and would get in my way. 

For me, taking a shower was the most difficult part of all. I couldn’t put any weight on my knee for the first week and it made showering very difficult. I had to put all my weight on one leg and it sucked. I almost fell a couple times, as well. 

After I got off the crutches, I had a limp for a good while and I was self conscious about it. I knew people were staring at me and also laughing, but I got used to it and continued with my rehab journey. 

At this point I still couldn’t do simple things like run and mess around with my friends. I still struggled to put on my jeans in the morning.

Rehabilitation has also been a difficult factor. Some exercises I had to do stretches and squats. When I mean squats I mean single leg squats, back squats, and pistol squats. 

I also had to do band resistance stretching as well to strengthen my knee. I’ve been rushing it and my knee has popped on multiple occasions due to me rushing the process. Every time it pops, my heart sinks, my mind thinks that it is completely torn, but fortunately it hasn’t. 

These are wake up calls saying that I’m rushing it and to slow down and I have finally realized this and I need to hit rehab harder. I haven’t gone to physical therapy because it’s expensive and I have been rehabbing on my own with Youtube videos. 

Knee injuries are probably the most complex because they’re so important for motion and balance. Once you hurt your knee, it won’t ever be the same and I’m just realizing this now. So my objective now is that when the season starts I need to fully recover my knee and make it the strongest it can be.

Now possibly the toughest part of this injury wasn’t just the pain itself, but my mental health. I was disconnected from everything and everyone, especially after the season ended. 

I didn’t want to do anything but just be in my room alone. Some days I wouldn’t want to get up because I felt empty, but I knew I had to show up for my people and team. 

However, this injury has tightened some friendships, I also lost people and someone important to me because of my mental health and how I was treating them. 

I kept distancing myself from them and tried to make everything about me and that caused them to walk away.

With the help of my mom, my coach, and my friends, I realized I had to get myself back together. I realized I just can’t feel bad for myself. I had to make a change. 

I used this motivation to wake up every morning to get my workout in. Some days I just don’t want to get up, but I know I have to because I hate the feeling of not being able to do anything. I used this motivation every single day to push and make myself better.

Some words of advice I would have for athletes who have a major injury is to look for a positive outlook and embrace the journey. 

Yes, some days will be hard and some days you just don’t want to get up from bed but push yourself.

The journey has honestly been hard for me since I was dealing with other personal things during the injury, but I would say it builds character. 

You see the world differently. You become more thankful for things you have in life and become more humble since you know how hard it is to do simple things on your own when you’re hurt like putting on pants and even showering in some cases like me. 

Overall, embracing the journey you unlock new pieces of yourself that you thought you didn’t have, both good or bad, but it’s honestly been a life lesson for me, it opened my eyes for the better. 

I learned to not take life for granted. I learned that I am stronger than I think I am. I also found out how to deal with adversity like the struggles of waking up and not being able to walk. This will stick with me for the rest of my life.